Any transgender parent knows that they have to prepare for the day they will have to sit down and tell their children the full story of their birth. For Bianca and Nick Bowser, they will have to say that it was Nick who gave birth to them and Bianca got him pregnant. Confusing, right? This is because Bianca and Nick still have their sex organs, and they used them to have their offspring.
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Thirty-two-year-old Bianca was born a boy named Jason. Her husband, Nick, 27, was born a girl named Nicole. The couple married in 2011, and they say they will not hide their past from their toddler sons, Kai, 3, and Pax, 1. Nick says, “I mean, that’s when we tell them sometimes men have babies, and sometimes mommies can’t have babies. We’re telling them the truth, and I think that’s the most important thing, and in a way that they can understand.”
Bianca has previously told the hosts of TV show This Morning, Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield, that she looks forward to sharing her past with her children. She is not ashamed of her past and so she does not fear having to tell her children where they came from. Nick added that they will tell the boys when they are ready to know, when they start asking questions, and when they see old family pictures. He’s confident that as the boys grow older, they will understand more. He trusts that being honest with the boys from an early age will be beneficial when they tell the boys the truth.
As they were growing up, both Bianca and Nick felt different. Then eventually realized that they were living in the wrong gender. For Bianca, that moment came when she was 5 years old. She says it was a struggle for her to grow up feeling different. More than 10 years ago, she started her transition to live as a woman. She has not undergone gender reassignment surgery, so she was able to father their sons.
Nick’s transition happened after he turned 20. He also had a hard time growing up and feeling different. At 17, he came out as lesbian, but when he turned 20, he realized that he wanted to change his sex. He met some transgender people, and he finally realized what would truly make him happy. He wanted to be a man, not a lesbian.
Nick also has not had a sex change surgery, so he was able to become pregnant with their sons. During his pregnancy, he had a difficult time, but he does not regret the decision. Both Nick and Bianca plan on having surgery in the future. It’s the cost of the surgery that is holding them back from doing it now.
In the US, male to female surgery can range from $5,500 to $20,000, while female to male surgery is over $40,000. Nick says that at the moment, they cannot afford the surgery and would rather spend their money on their sons.
The couple are happy to share their story with the world media. They hope to banish any prejudice against transgender people. Nick says, “We do everything any other parent would do. We went through the same process and preparations except I was the one who carried the two children.”
However, the couple says they have not received support. In the US, there is still an ongoing battle for equality. They say they have received hateful comments from people in the US.