Scroll down for videos
Expect an orgasm every time
Michelle Cohn from San Francisco says to expect to have an orgasm every time you are in an intimate situation. She says, “Hell, yes, I’m going to climax when I have sex. Why shouldn’t I? For me it’s not a matter of whether I’ll have an orgasm, it’s a matter of how. Otherwise, it’s a little like ordering filet mignon in a restaurant and thinking, Well, if I actually get the steak, that’s great. But if all that arrives is a salad, well, better luck next time. So if something’s just not working for me sexually, I actively take another approach—and if necessary, another—until I find my own passion solution.”
When men get physical, they know they are going to climax, and that assurance helps make it happen. Women should also adopt that same expectation of not settling for anything but an orgasm.
Clear your mind
Your brain is your most powerful organ. Sex therapist Gina Ogden, PhD, says that you have to clear you mind from worries and minimize distractions. You need to focus on your pleasure. Visualizing the events that take place also helps.
Really get into the moment
You can’t dance without swinging your hips. That would be impossible and no fun. To reach climax, you need to let loose. Try new things to awaken your sexuality. Forget sexual taboos, and focus on yourself and the things you like.
Being comfortable with your partner will not make your sex life boring. By having one person to focus on, you will know exactly what they like and what they do not like. Each person likes different things, so get to know your partner’s body and what it takes to get him to climax.
Stick to the right formula
Muscle memory is a real thing. You don’t forget how to ride a bike because even if your brain forgets, your muscles have a memory. Having an orgasm is no different. Maybe you had an earth-shattering orgasm in a certain position, when you get your body back in the same position, it can help to achieve the same results.
All orgasms are good
Women who climax more often say do not discriminate against a certain kind of orgasm. That means, take your pleasure where you can find it. One woman named Megan says, “I’ve discovered that I get a little extra pleasure perk every time I do pushups. In fact, believe it or not, I’ve actually had full-on, cigarette-worthy orgasms doing floor work in funk class. Maybe it’s because I’m all sweaty and worked up and my endorphins are going or because I’m clenching my muscles a certain way. Who knows? Who cares? Needless to say, my upper body definition has become quite impressive.”
Have fun with your experience. Don’t get stressed about it. Just go with the flow, relax, and have fun with your partner.
Focus on foreplay
Each woman has a different key to what feels good for them. Here are a few examples:
“Foot massages, toe sucking, putting his fingers (or tongue) in the spaces between my toes—any and all attention to my tootsies has a very potent sexual effect. By the time he heads north, I’m working on orgasm number two.”
—Shira Goldsmith, 31, gemologist
“As cliché as it sounds, I love being spanked. Not super hard but forceful enough to feel that tingle on my bottom. Then I really show him what a bad girl I can be.”
—Liz Sillian, 22, waitress
“My boyfriend knows all he has to do is nosh on my neck—not gentle kisses but devouring, sucking, and biting. I instantly feel like a teenager in the backseat of a Chevy.”
—Deanne Stone, 29, Web site designer
“It totally turns me on to be sexually dominated, so I love it when my husband handles me more roughly than usual—pushes me up against the wall, hikes up my skirt. It makes me feel like every nerve ending in my body is ready to explode.”
—Marly Lavan, 27, literary agent
“Teasing at every stage of the sexual session makes me crazy—from playing with my tongue while we’re kissing to taking his time entering me, doing it bit by bit and so painstakingly slow that I’m begging him to go all the way.”
—Kim Brown, 26, city planner