We all know Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Vine and Tumblr are way more exciting when you’re allowed to post pictures of you and your babe having fun. However, posting your relationship all over the world wide web can be very dangerous if you do it incorrectly. Be careful and try to avoid making any of these mistakes, so you don’t throw your relationship in the gutter.
Mistake #1: The Overshare
In this technological day and age, “Public Display of Affection” or “PDA” has a whole different meaning. Now, instead of sitting at lunch and watching a couple at the next table suck face, you just open up Instagram and see it instead. It’s not cute and not too many people enjoy watching it or being involved.
Making sure your partner is okay with what you’re putting out there on social media is important. If you don’t know how they feel about online PDA – just ask. It’s important to respect boundaries. Even if your girlfriend or boyfriend is okay with you posting up a status about them or a picture of the two of you together, it doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
Part of the joy of a union between two people is the secret world you live in together and that’s the key word right there – Secret. Not everything needs to be online for people to see. Keep some of it to yourself.
Mistake #2: Too Much Sexy
Posting risque photos of yourself, as in pics of you in a tiny bathing suit or posing in a sexual manner, on any form of social media is ALWAYS going to cause some sort of reaction from your partner and most of the time that reaction is jealousy. Your partner might see this as a sign of you offering your body to others with no regards to them.
Now, most couples have no problem with their better half “being sexy”, but the difference is putting it online for everyone to see. You don’t need to take your clothes off for that ‘Like”. It comes off as desperate and seems like you are begging for attention and that’s not very attractive at all.
Lesli Doares, a marriage counselor, tells us “a good rule of thumb when dealing with social media is that if you wouldn’t do it/say it with your partner right there, you shouldn’t share it online”. So, unless your boyfie/girlfie approves of you posting all those sexy shots, try to keep your photos somewhat appropriate.
Mistake #3: Keeping the Ex Around
Even if you and your ex have managed to stay civil and remain friends on the Internet, there is no reason you should still be interacting with them via social media. The smallest ‘Like’ or cutesy comment can be a trigger for your girlfriend or boyfriend if it’s seen and could cause some serious problems between the two of you. Ex-es are already a touchy subject as it is when it comes to relationships, so making it known to all of your friends on the Internet that you two are still, in fact, communicating is never the best idea.
A professional marriage counselor tells us that many people can develop decent friendships with exes, and those should be supported. Peace, is always better than hatred. However, if you’re communicating with your ex online to provoke jealousy or attract negative attention from your current boyfriend or girlfriend, that’s another issue entirely. “You’re probably playing around with stuff that’s a little bit dangerous,” he says.
Mistake #4: Lurking
Okay, we’re all guilty here. Yes, we’ve all gone back 56 weeks on our significant others Instagram posts to make sure no one’s left sassy comments or ironic “Likes”, but no one likes a super creep. It’s okay to keep an eye on their social media page here and there, but it’s a huge turn-off to anyone if they feel as if they’re being watched or, for lack of a better term, stalked.
If something is bugging you about what your babe is doing online, do it the old fashioned way: talk to them. Bring it up at dinner or while you two are hanging out on the couch. Remember, trying to figure things out via text or e-mail NEVER works. You can never tell the persons tone or emotion and things can get misconstrued very quickly.
Our pro says it’s important to communicate with your boo instead of making assumptions or getting possessive. “No need to call him out on every like,” she says.
Mistake #5: Subtweeting (and Other Petty Posts)
Getting called out for something sucks, but getting called out for something on a public, online space is way worse. Matthew, a junior at UC Berkeley, hates the immaturity of subtweets. “Subtweets are the worst,” he says.
Posting about how you “hate getting canceled on at the last minute, ugh” is not a good way of handling problems in your relationship, and it makes you seem petty. Instead of subtweeting, Matthew says, “talk to [me] instead”.
Most guys agree that you should steer clear from posting vague or passive-aggressive statuses. Jacob, a sophomore at the University of Michigan says that if something is seriously distressing his girlfriend, he wants to hear about it before it goes on Facebook. “If I see some vague, frustrated status about her life, I’m going to assume it’s [because of] me,” he says.
Make sure you don’t let social media negatively affect your relationship. Express appreciation for your significant other, communicate with each other in person, maintain boundaries between your real life and your online life and don’t share too much. You’ll both be much happier and your relationship will last way longer. Keeping your relationship healthy online doesn’t take a lot of effort, and in the long run, it’ll make the relationship that much more likely to last.